And the Boys Who Got me Here
We carved pumpkins last night….or I should say I carved pumpkins while be directed my little boss-boys.
I didn’t even get a chance to carve both, but we de-gutted and the boys drew their designs on them. Then, the call of the leaves – and my husband’s leaf blower came….
Our backyard is a long double lot that is FULL of deciduous trees that flood the ground with color every Fall. It’s gorgeous, but a pain in the rear-end.
However, every year the boys make my heart soar with the leaves they collectively throw above their heads, pile together and leap into. Last night was no exception.
While my husband blew the leaves, I raked, and the boys laughed and played and made the evening so special.
It’s moments like these that help me remember why I wanted to be a mother in the first place. I would do anything for these two loves of my life.
So as we go continue on our Fall days here in the Adirondacks, I want to take a moment to listen to the crinkle of the leaves, the giggles from my little gentlemen, and my heart as it beats for them.
A quote from Anne Lamott comes to mind – “I see that children fill the existential hollowness many people feel; that when we have children, we know they will need us, and maybe love us, but we don’t have a clue how hard it is going to be.”
These sweet boys fill that hollowness in me, but I never want them to feel like that is their burden – to make mommy happy or whole.
These boys are not always the easiest duo, but they are my little balls of light to keep from falling in life’s juggling act.
However, one of the hardest things I have to accept is that they’re going to make their own mistakes. That’s how they will learn.
“You’ve got to learn to let go and let your children fall, and fail. If you try to protect them from hurt, and always rush to their side with Band-Aids, they won’t learn about life, and what is true, what works, what helps, and what are real consequences of certain kinds of behavior. When they do get hurt, which they will, they won’t know how to take care of their grown selves. they won’t even know where the asprin is kept.” – Anne Lamott
At least I know they will always have each other’s backs though, when I’m not there to fend off the wolves. They be each other’s and their own defenders in this crazy dark world we live in. That’s what siblings are for.
(Especially when their mother is too busy figuring out her own life sometimes to recall that she has parental duties to attend to)